Junior Robert Harris will spend his Christmas like he did last year – shuffling between the homes of his divorced parents.
He says, “During holidays, I feel kind of pressured because I want to spend time with both my parents without making one of them feel left out.”
Harris, along with many other children of divorced parents, no longer sees Christmas as the wonderful story of “The Night Before Christmas.” Harris says it is more like the nightmare before Christmas.
But it need not be that way, says Birmingham psychologist Robert Cahill.
Instead of trying to please parents, Cahill encourages children of divorce to “Make the most of your time with each parent, equal and loved.”
The psychologist encourages children of divorced and separated families to look for the joy in the annual events such as putting up the Christmas tree, wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, and waking up early on Christmas Day, no matter whose house they are in.
He encourages children of divorce to think about celebrating the joy of the holidays rather than trying to please parents.
According to divorcemag.com, 56.2 percent of children in the world either have divorced or separated parents. So the typical image of everyone in the family gathered around the tree together may not be so typical after all.
Even President Barack Obama did not grow up in a two-parent household. President Obama visited with his father only once, in 1971, when he was 10 years old.
But the president and his wife, Michelle, now maintain a two-parent household for their own two daughters, Malia, age 10, and Sasha (Natasha), age 7, who will spend their first Christmas in the White House this year.
Senior Joshua Pollard, whose parents are divorced, says the holidays can be hectic for him. “It’s a lot of pressure trying to make both parents feel important; I try to spend an equal amount of time with both of my parents no matter what.”
Others such as junior Nicholas Overton say they feel guilty for leaving one parent behind. Overton says, “A lot of the time during the holidays I wish my parents weren’t divorced because I hate when I have to leave one of my parents’ house to go to the next just so one of them doesn’t feel bad.”